News of the Weak, June 23 2002
Jun. 25th, 2002 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teddywolfSuicide bombers killed three ants and a dog outside of a cafe in Paris France. The government condemned all terrorist organizations and vowed to bring the organizations to justice or a bloody grave. In other news, France again condemned Israel for use of force on the West Bank.
In a surprise move, cuddly superhero George W Bush announced that he was suspending all speech critical of government in order to preserve freedom. As the freedom to worship, peaceably assemble, bear arms and not be unreasonably searched have all been suspended it's thought that he is referring to the right to drink the beer of your choice. So long as it's American beer.
Tech mogul and superstar model Ariel Sharon declared that the state of education in Russia is atrocious and announced a peace mission to Moscow to restore "Good Educational Values".
Media bad boy company Napster decided to sell itself for US$8 million. Microsoft declined to bid, saying it was "Too Much".
A press spokesman for Godzilla announced the monster would be running for President of the USA in 2004. Polls set Godzilla slightly behind the incumbent George W Bush, but the laws of the US don't allow for non-native-born citizens to run. The press spokesman was adding something about naturalization when he died in a blast of atomic breath - George W Bush burped after eating a candy Fireball.
A huge fire burning in the US Southwest has depleted several hundred square miles of forest and destroyed great amounts of all-natural, no-preservatives-added wood, sending the price of lumber in general and the stock market in particular up a staggering half a point in light trading.
But first: An interview with The Powerpuff Girls on their new big-screen stardom.
In a surprise move, cuddly superhero George W Bush announced that he was suspending all speech critical of government in order to preserve freedom. As the freedom to worship, peaceably assemble, bear arms and not be unreasonably searched have all been suspended it's thought that he is referring to the right to drink the beer of your choice. So long as it's American beer.
Tech mogul and superstar model Ariel Sharon declared that the state of education in Russia is atrocious and announced a peace mission to Moscow to restore "Good Educational Values".
Media bad boy company Napster decided to sell itself for US$8 million. Microsoft declined to bid, saying it was "Too Much".
A press spokesman for Godzilla announced the monster would be running for President of the USA in 2004. Polls set Godzilla slightly behind the incumbent George W Bush, but the laws of the US don't allow for non-native-born citizens to run. The press spokesman was adding something about naturalization when he died in a blast of atomic breath - George W Bush burped after eating a candy Fireball.
A huge fire burning in the US Southwest has depleted several hundred square miles of forest and destroyed great amounts of all-natural, no-preservatives-added wood, sending the price of lumber in general and the stock market in particular up a staggering half a point in light trading.
But first: An interview with The Powerpuff Girls on their new big-screen stardom.
