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My wife has a request of people here who aren't on her journal.

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This is a humor piece, might be offensive to some, but it made me crack up - very much NSFW. A new way for women tired of men looking at their chest to keep their eyes up! Posted to the Broadsheet portion of Salon, so you might need to go through an ad to see it there.

NSFW!

Filk: Zombies go Shuffling

TTTO The Ants Go Marching
(Performance notes: if possible, have a different somebody from the audience do all but the final scream on cue, with a short break for the scream. The word "br-aaaaiiiins" and the final spoken line should preferably be in a relative monotone.)

The zombies go shuffling two by two, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling two by two, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling two by two and massacred a construction crew (Aieeeee!)
And they all go shuffling, out of their graves they go

The zombies go shuffling four by four, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling four by four, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling four by four and feasted outside a Wal-Mart store (Aieeeee!)
And they all go shuffling, out of their graves they go

The zombies go shuffling six by six, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling six by six, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling six by six and caught some prostitutes turning tricks (Aieeeee!)
And they all go shuffling, out of their graves they go

The zombies go shuffling eight by eight, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling eight by eight, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling eight by eight surprising some tourists from out of state (Aieeeee!)
And they all go shuffling, out of their graves they go

The zombies go shuffling ten by ten, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling ten by ten, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling ten by ten skipping Sean Hannity in his den - (spoken) hey, even mindless zombies have standards! (/spoken)
And they all go shuffling, out of their graves they go

The zombies go shuffling twelve by twelve, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling twelve by twelve, br-aaiins, br-aaiins
The zombies go shuffling twelve by twelve, my song I think it's time to shelve (Aieeeee!)
And we all go shuffling, looking for brains we go!
(spoken) Mmmmm... braaaaiiiinnnnssss.......