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The Devil's Dictionary
Sep. 5th, 2002 09:42 pmGraphic: something visual, especially if it is deemed naughty by those whose opinions are more prudish than mine. Commonly used to describe scenes of guilty violence and innocent sexuality. In an effort to be more open, more scenes of graphic violence can be found in the visual landscape while more scenes of undressed people are frowned upon, on the theory that violence is far healthier for the mind than undressed people. While this is frequently done "for the children" it should be noted that babies and small children are undressed in public far more frequently than adults.
Green: politically speaking, people who believe that natural resources must be safeguarded against people by any means or expense necessary, and who will use vast natural resources to get their message out. A desire for individuals to conform to a hive mind can be found in some Green specimens. Botanically speaking, the best color for basil and a poor color for ripe tomatoes.
Libertarian: a belief that prior history should not be used in establishing standards of law or behavior, except for the instances where it should. Believers in ultimate freedom, the most common freedom espoused is the freedom to pay out of pocket on a piecemeal basis for services provided wholesale by the government. This is based on the theory that government morally should not do anything of the sort excepting in cases of law, and that government costs more than any private means of providing such service. These theories not only have been disproven in many cases but fly in the face of what is proven. Nevertheless, theory trumps practice for the Libertarian.
Democrat: A member of a party who believe in working for the middle class and poor at the expense of the rich, on the theory that the rich can afford it. Commonly opposed to free trade standards due to the deleterious effect it would have on jobs although such measures keep prices up; in favor of measures that favor individual freedoms and protections. Oddly enough when a Democrat is President businesses seem to do better than when a Republican is President, but businesses spend more money to court Republican favor.
Republican: A member of the Grand Old Party, the party of Abraham Lincoln, which no longer espouses many of the beliefs held by that worthy man while he was an elected official. Their party believes in working for the rich at the expense of the poor and the middle class on the theory that the poor and middle class don't want, need or deserve help. Commonly call for "across the board" tax cuts which affect those who pay more taxes the most, and claim that this is "fair to everyone". In favor of free trade except when it would negatively affect their district, they prefer lax laws in regard to business but strict laws in regard to people because people are far less law abiding. Businesses spend lots of money to elect Republicans but less to elect Democrats, as standards can easily chafe. Just ask Worldcom.
Green: politically speaking, people who believe that natural resources must be safeguarded against people by any means or expense necessary, and who will use vast natural resources to get their message out. A desire for individuals to conform to a hive mind can be found in some Green specimens. Botanically speaking, the best color for basil and a poor color for ripe tomatoes.
Libertarian: a belief that prior history should not be used in establishing standards of law or behavior, except for the instances where it should. Believers in ultimate freedom, the most common freedom espoused is the freedom to pay out of pocket on a piecemeal basis for services provided wholesale by the government. This is based on the theory that government morally should not do anything of the sort excepting in cases of law, and that government costs more than any private means of providing such service. These theories not only have been disproven in many cases but fly in the face of what is proven. Nevertheless, theory trumps practice for the Libertarian.
Democrat: A member of a party who believe in working for the middle class and poor at the expense of the rich, on the theory that the rich can afford it. Commonly opposed to free trade standards due to the deleterious effect it would have on jobs although such measures keep prices up; in favor of measures that favor individual freedoms and protections. Oddly enough when a Democrat is President businesses seem to do better than when a Republican is President, but businesses spend more money to court Republican favor.
Republican: A member of the Grand Old Party, the party of Abraham Lincoln, which no longer espouses many of the beliefs held by that worthy man while he was an elected official. Their party believes in working for the rich at the expense of the poor and the middle class on the theory that the poor and middle class don't want, need or deserve help. Commonly call for "across the board" tax cuts which affect those who pay more taxes the most, and claim that this is "fair to everyone". In favor of free trade except when it would negatively affect their district, they prefer lax laws in regard to business but strict laws in regard to people because people are far less law abiding. Businesses spend lots of money to elect Republicans but less to elect Democrats, as standards can easily chafe. Just ask Worldcom.
