![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
News of the Weak, September 1 2002
Sep. 1st, 2002 03:02 pmFrance took under consideration measures to remove pornography from television.
Curators at the Louvre consider this an important step in "improving cultural education" and "removing the competition".
Diamond cartel deBeers has sued Russia in the world court for releasing large quantities of high grade diamonds into the world market. "This is an attempt to undercut the monopoly and high prices we've built up over 200 years and we demand they stop producing low cost high quality diamonds," said a spokesman.
A plague of gerbils descended upon Buffalo, NY but ran away when confronted by the first annual Buffalo Wing competition.
US President George W Bush, returning from a month at his ranch, demanded that Congress put a complete budget and approval for the Department of Homeland Security on his desk by the first week of October. "I need to show that only Republicans get results, so you Democrats better play along or I'll call you Liberals. Then again I'll call you Liberals anyways," explained the president.
A rampaging Godzilla clone twisted the Washington Monument into an elaborate fleur-de-lis with an excellent pastel color scheme before being driven off by the US Air Force and a 7 year old girl on crutches. IMClone attorneys again denied splicing Martha Stewart genes with Godzilla.
Hershey's Foods put itself up for sale, saying, "Can a new owner improve our chocolate? It really sucks."
A spokesman for Godzilla confirmed that the monster is truly a major force for art in its own right. "Did you see the job he did leveling Kyoto in his last movie? Now that's art!" The monster snorted out a small cloud of radioactive steam.
.
.
But first: is George W Bush really a robot body for Dogbert in his schemes of world domination and suppression of the press? A spe#$+%$*)+!$&$*(^%^ NO CARRIER
Curators at the Louvre consider this an important step in "improving cultural education" and "removing the competition".
Diamond cartel deBeers has sued Russia in the world court for releasing large quantities of high grade diamonds into the world market. "This is an attempt to undercut the monopoly and high prices we've built up over 200 years and we demand they stop producing low cost high quality diamonds," said a spokesman.
A plague of gerbils descended upon Buffalo, NY but ran away when confronted by the first annual Buffalo Wing competition.
US President George W Bush, returning from a month at his ranch, demanded that Congress put a complete budget and approval for the Department of Homeland Security on his desk by the first week of October. "I need to show that only Republicans get results, so you Democrats better play along or I'll call you Liberals. Then again I'll call you Liberals anyways," explained the president.
A rampaging Godzilla clone twisted the Washington Monument into an elaborate fleur-de-lis with an excellent pastel color scheme before being driven off by the US Air Force and a 7 year old girl on crutches. IMClone attorneys again denied splicing Martha Stewart genes with Godzilla.
Hershey's Foods put itself up for sale, saying, "Can a new owner improve our chocolate? It really sucks."
A spokesman for Godzilla confirmed that the monster is truly a major force for art in its own right. "Did you see the job he did leveling Kyoto in his last movie? Now that's art!" The monster snorted out a small cloud of radioactive steam.
.
.
But first: is George W Bush really a robot body for Dogbert in his schemes of world domination and suppression of the press? A spe#$+%$*)+!$&$*(^%^ NO CARRIER
