teddywolf

I did a throwaway line in the car one day and Tigerlily was vaguely mortified and vaguely amused, so here it is worked out. This is to the tune of "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

"The problem is all inside the bus", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
It's our survival and it means a lot to me
There must be fifty ways to eat your driver

She said "I'm really hungry and I think we're in a stew
I haven't eaten in a week or maybe two
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being true
There must be fifty ways to eat your driver, fifty ways to eat your driver

A submarine stack, Jack, some really sweet flan, Stan
You kill and I'll grill, Phil, with barbeque sauce
Hop off the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Get the pepper and salt Walt, and I'll bring the floss

She said "it hurts to see you starving in your bucket seat"
I wish there was something I could find that you can eat
I said, I appreciate that, but listening is a treat about the fifty ways

She said, "here is a fork and knife, I think that you'll be safe
I need to feed you so you're not a starving waif
My mouth was watering because even though it's treif
There must be fifty ways to eat your driver, fifty ways to eat your driver

A submarine stack, Jack, some really sweet flan, Stan
You kill and I'll grill, Phil, with barbeque sauce
Hop off the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Get the pepper and salt Walt, and I'll bring the floss