A rant, alas

Something I've been meaning to put into coherent thought recently has to do with time. This isn't about the grand scheme of time, nor about the effect it has on aging liquor or other fun esoterica like that. It has to do with attention time.

Attention time is the time you spend with someone, communicating with them, or otherwise keeping them in your thoughts. There is something to be said about the quality of such time as well as the quantity.

Sometimes this can be active discussions with others about the person you are spending time on. This is generally not to the strictly positive, and that's OK - each person has good parts and bad parts. I'm no exception there. However, it's a true annoyance when you are the subject and it is to the strictly negative. I have been the subject of this, recently even, and the people who have been so willing to talk about me quite negatively to others in both public spaces and private have been strangely mum about actually talking to me. This gives me an itchy feeling between my shoulder blades.

I know who they are; there is more than one. I don't have vicious things to say about them and I'm not bringing up their names because quite aside from the fact that it would be vicious gossip this isn't about them. This is about me.

I have my disclaimer on my userinfo for a reason - I prefer talking with people about problems they have with me to see if a) what they are saying has merit, which it has before and I have no doubt will again; b) if they can identify what can be changed, or help me do so identify; and c) just maybe help me implement a change. My wife has done this with me a number of times, generally though not always with some success. At least one of the people who has done this has read my userinfo and discounted it. Oy.

This is public. Comments are screened; responses will also be screened. If you have a problem with me and want to air it in private directly to me this would be a good time. I will not shout at you. I promise to listen. If you lack the courage then at least understand this: I do not like inspiring fear.

Edited To Add: If you are wondering if I am talking about you, the answer is probably not - unless you've been talking about me in a very negative way, at length, mentioning little to no redeeming features, to people I like and care about.

Update to the Rant

One of the people contacted me offline. Things have been worked out to my complete satisfaction, including a meeting of the minds; a bit distant but otherwise good, and that is fine with me. An aspect of Telephone seems have been been involved. As things are worked out, no harm no foul. To the few people who know who I'm talking about, it's all good. Apologies for the drama.

A final note, and a tale

The final note: in the resolved thing, I believe everyone acted as best they could according to their honor and their desire to help others. While it was painful for me in the short run I fault no-one's motives.

And now the story:
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, But There Is Such A Thing As A Free Dessert.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Simon was visiting from the UK to cover a major tech announcement near Boston. Mystery House had the chance to host him Tuesday night and I cooked a little pasta supper. On Wednesday he had a bit more time available and wanted to do a few things around Boston. I volunteered to play tourguide, and to my delight (and admittedly surprise - low self-confidence, doncha know) he accepted.

His initial plan was to walk the Freedom Trail, as it is named, but the weather around Boston was beastly. He did mention a number of things he wanted to get that couldn't be found near home, so I suggested a backup plan. We went shopping.

One of the places he wanted to go to was Newbury Comics, as he had some anime-related items he wanted to find. I told him we'd go to Harvard Square, where there is one, but we'd go somewhere better, namely Tokyo Kid. But I digress.

We tried to find parking in Harvard Square, the one part of Boston metro that consistently defeats my carma, and failed to do so. We ended up parking in Davis Square and hopping the T back over.

When we got to The Garage, the building housing the two aforementioned stores, Simon mentioned he needed to use some Necessary Facilities. I originally pointed him to the basement rooms, but those were apparently locked and listed as Staff Only at this point. Strange. So, we headed over to Finale, which I wanted to be able to show him anyways. We ordered desserts at the take out section, he asked if he could use their Necessary Facilities, and they told him, "Certainly!" I'm fairly sure they would have waved him through even if we hadn't bought tasty yummies, in that they have true class, but it's nice to get the tasty yummies.

I waited for a while up front, then decided to sit in their sitting room near the Facilities. I espied a dessert chef, who was also a pretty lass, putting together a lovely plate of desserts and walked over to where she was working, asking questions about the desserts in between the times when she was focusing on the plates. She answered with the enthusiasm I generally see in people who like to teach, which is good. So I asked several questions, she answered, and when I felt I was getting close to overstaying my welcome I sat back down, although she told me I could ask more.

She was putting the finishing touches on a dessert plate filled with a variety of Finale's yummies. After it was finished to her satisfaction, she passed the plate over to a photographer who was sitting near the window with a backdrop set up so he could take photos for a website. By this time Simon had returned and we started munching on our yummies - his a cheesecake which he described as 'among the best fluffy cheesecakes he'd ever eaten', and me with my chocolate cupcake with absolutely incredible buttercream frosting.

We were about a third of the way through our respective items, happily chomping, when the hostess came over. She said, "You gentlemen are in the right place at the right time. How would you like a free dessert plate?"

I turned to Simon, my face semi-blank, turned back nonchalantly and said, "Sssure!"

And that's how we got this plate. A special note: I am not saying we got a plate with these desserts. I am saying we got the actual dessert plate which you can see at this link here.

We gorged on incredible sweet stuffs for a while, joyfully, reverently, and relatively quietly. Our hostess and the dessert chef were happy to see the plate go to good use.

After the dessert we found the items Simon wanted at Tokyo Kid, so he skipped Newbury Comics; and then we made a short detour into Cardullo's before going back on the subway and finally found something else he's been looking for, a Republic of Tea concentrate that's not easy to find even here.

All told, we found most everything he was looking for; and I did get to show him a few sights along the way, such as the Dewey Cheetham and Howe window. All told, a productive day. And, a very sweet one.

And this is the story of how there ain't no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such a thing as a free dessert.

Just as a note for other dessert lovers who come anywhere near the Boston area: Finale's has truly excellent stuff, and I would call them world class. They also give extra desserts to you if you come in on your birthday. While the portions are a bit smaller than at, say your standard chain restaurant, the prices are comparable and there frankly is no comparison when it comes to quality. As a foodgod it is my duty to inform far and wide about good food; I would be remiss if I didn't talk about them.