I agree with Andy Rooney

I have a quick message for everybody in the USA who is eligible who chooses not to vote by the end of November 2:

Thank you.
You just made my vote mean that much more. This means my voice is louder than yours.
I like being loud. I like being louder than Loud Howard from Dilbert.
I like shouting from rooftops. I like banging on drums. I like singing Queen songs in public. I like attention.
So stay home, shut up and be quiet. Oh, and don't complain if you didn't get who you wanted. You chose not to choose, which means I choose for you. In fact, the more of you that stay home, the more of you I get to choose for.
I like that.
Besides, you probably don't have the guts to vote.

If you agree with my politics, great - I'll cover for you. If you don't agree with my politics, great - I didn't want your vote to cancel mine.

Have a nice day.

(no subject)

This is amusing, especially for Something Positive fans. Slightly unworksafe, but only slightly.