Literary shard

I drew my sword, muttering curses under my breath. I didn't want to get involved in a battle between the Elves and the Elemental Lords but I was smack-dab in the middle of their battlefield. All I wanted was to keep my hide in one unbroken unmashed piece. I watched the hordes drawing closer, closer, mentally chewing my fingernails down to bloody first knuckles until each side was within a few hundred feet; and then I let loose my one superpower, my Really Loud Voice with commanding tones: "Will you two sit down and cut it out already?!?"