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The day broke earlier than normal for me. I'm used to driving into work - perhaps I'm spoiled (don't say it). But this time I had to take the bus. Schedules were confusing, where to get which bus wasn't clear, and the Eskimo seemed out of place. And then I left the house. Still, I got to work on time and left about on time as well. Straight from work I went to vote.
This was my first time voting in this town and I was not pleased about how things were laid out. There were no clear signs telling people where the voting booths were and there didn't seem to be people around to point me in the right direction. Joy and rapture. Someone saw me walking around in dime-sized circles and took pity on me, telling me that they'd moved the voting booths to Washington DC for "Presidential Oversight". Just kidding - she told me to go upstairs to the gym. So up the thousand and one steps I trudged, giving my calves a workout they hadn't had for a while and thinking about how many calories I was burning for some poor starving grunt who'd just mailed in an absentee ballot.
At the top of the stairs I saw the room with a view. The booths had a lot less privacy than I'm used to, not having any curtains to draw and in a couple of cases with more than one person in a booth. Presumably the other person had already voted in a separate booth but two voices nagged me that maybe it wasn't that clear, both my tiny quiet inner voice and the loud "Sieg Heil!"
Luckily I wasn't joined in my booth by the overfriendly German-speaker and was free to vote for the people who had no opposition with a clear conscience. So with joy in my heart I voted Green for Governor, Libertarian for Auditor, and Democrat for Senator - specifically I wrote in my old Congressman from the other end of the state to take the place of the current Democrat senator. So I did vote Democratic in a race where it could have conceivably mattered.
Then there were the questions. Question One was, "Do you want to cut your income tax to nothing and hope that government will magically maintain the same level or higher levels of quality of service?" I believe magic happens but I don't believe it happens with budgets, so I voted No. There's a lot more people out there who believe in magical budgets than I thought, though.
Question Two was, "Do you want non-English speakers to be chucked in the English language pool for a year to sink or swim and then haul 'em out and put 'em in the pool with everybody else?" I'm not fond of sink or swim and it doesn't work for everybody, and the Question didn't allow for any other methods. I voted no because I'm not a one-size-fits-all kinda guy. Even more people thought this was a good idea than magical budgets, so this passed. I'm sending everybody who voted for this a T-Shirt that says "English Only!" in size small. I know it'll fit every single one of 'em.
Question Three was asked to attempt to reverse a ballot question from a few years ago. A Yes vote was to keep things the way they were, a No to say We Don't Think So. But I had to say Yes, I'm honest. The question was, "Does this make my butt look fat?"
And so another year of voting drew to a close. I don't know whether to yell at people who didn't vote for being stupidheads or thank them for making my opinion worth more than theirs. Probably the latter.
This was my first time voting in this town and I was not pleased about how things were laid out. There were no clear signs telling people where the voting booths were and there didn't seem to be people around to point me in the right direction. Joy and rapture. Someone saw me walking around in dime-sized circles and took pity on me, telling me that they'd moved the voting booths to Washington DC for "Presidential Oversight". Just kidding - she told me to go upstairs to the gym. So up the thousand and one steps I trudged, giving my calves a workout they hadn't had for a while and thinking about how many calories I was burning for some poor starving grunt who'd just mailed in an absentee ballot.
At the top of the stairs I saw the room with a view. The booths had a lot less privacy than I'm used to, not having any curtains to draw and in a couple of cases with more than one person in a booth. Presumably the other person had already voted in a separate booth but two voices nagged me that maybe it wasn't that clear, both my tiny quiet inner voice and the loud "Sieg Heil!"
Luckily I wasn't joined in my booth by the overfriendly German-speaker and was free to vote for the people who had no opposition with a clear conscience. So with joy in my heart I voted Green for Governor, Libertarian for Auditor, and Democrat for Senator - specifically I wrote in my old Congressman from the other end of the state to take the place of the current Democrat senator. So I did vote Democratic in a race where it could have conceivably mattered.
Then there were the questions. Question One was, "Do you want to cut your income tax to nothing and hope that government will magically maintain the same level or higher levels of quality of service?" I believe magic happens but I don't believe it happens with budgets, so I voted No. There's a lot more people out there who believe in magical budgets than I thought, though.
Question Two was, "Do you want non-English speakers to be chucked in the English language pool for a year to sink or swim and then haul 'em out and put 'em in the pool with everybody else?" I'm not fond of sink or swim and it doesn't work for everybody, and the Question didn't allow for any other methods. I voted no because I'm not a one-size-fits-all kinda guy. Even more people thought this was a good idea than magical budgets, so this passed. I'm sending everybody who voted for this a T-Shirt that says "English Only!" in size small. I know it'll fit every single one of 'em.
Question Three was asked to attempt to reverse a ballot question from a few years ago. A Yes vote was to keep things the way they were, a No to say We Don't Think So. But I had to say Yes, I'm honest. The question was, "Does this make my butt look fat?"
And so another year of voting drew to a close. I don't know whether to yell at people who didn't vote for being stupidheads or thank them for making my opinion worth more than theirs. Probably the latter.
