Upcoming Events

There will be a Gaming Night at my place tomorrow night (Monday the 14th) starting at approximately 6:30pm. Games in attendance include Munchkin, Chez Geek, Chez Dork, Illuminati, Titan, Boggle, Quiddler, Perquacky and Chaos Marauders to name a few. It will run to about 11pm or so. Minor snacks will be provided, but if people want more substantial fare they should look through the menus on the fridge.

If people need directions, please contact me.

News of the Weak, October 13 2002

US President George W Bush announced a newer, kinder "compassionate conservatism" this week. "We will leave no child behind. Every child that had been stranded on streetcorners will be picked up and brought to our state of the art Education Centers where we'll teach 'em the value of God and Country. I repeat, no child will be left behind."

A rash of mysterious child kidnappings has swept the USA. Chief suspect is Jon Smythe of Washington DC, and FBI agents have been staking out his 500 square foot studio apartment in hopes of finding the 10,000 - sorry, 12,000 missing children.

A new survey found that half the population of the US thought that the Chief Justice of the USA was Pete Moss. They also thought Pete was a lead singer/songwriter/catherder/gardener/swampwalker. The other half said they thought anybody who thought the Chief Justice was named Pete Moss was crazy - his name is John Ash "Lara" Croft.

Godzilla stomped the West Bank town of Ramallah, leaving no buildings standing and killing everyone in the area. The UN publicly praised the monster for "Removing the Israeli oppressors" and simultaneously condemned for "destroying innocent Palestinian saints-and-prophets-in-training".

Ralph Craig of New York City found his wife of two years in bed with their neighbor. He screamed at her, "Bitch! Why didn't you invite me for a threesome?!?" before being tackled by the NYPD and charged with naughty language.

A rash of sniper shootings around the Washington DC area has left close to a dozen people dead. Recent shootings have linked a windowless white van to the shootings, so police have chased OJ Simpson in his Ford Bronco down the California coastline once again to "ask him a few questions".

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But First: What do you do with a drunken sailor ear-lie in the morning? An undercover report tells the shocking truth.