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News of the Weak, Oct 6 2002
Oct. 6th, 2002 04:07 pmGorgeous M&M Candy spokescandy "Green" recently came out of the closet as a crossdressing candy. "I couldn't help it," purred the sultry dish-in-a-dish, "I love putting on mascara and high heels. If you don't like it, eat me!"
US President George W Bush called the UN "irrelevant", saying "They don't support regime change when its needed." In an unrelated story a petition to recall George W Bush as US President and install Martin Sheen as a suitable replacement was shredded by the US Justice Department, includin g all 3,274,430 signatures already collected.
The New York Yankees lost their chance to go to the World Championship this year. The noise level from New York City to Boston was approximately 70 decibels. Massachusetts resident Arnold Schwartzenegger hooted, "Yankees Suck!"
Israeli soldiers fired their new candy guns at terrorist gunmen in the Gaza Strip and pelted their targets with 45 jujubees per second, minorly bruising one gunman's trigger finger. Palestinians called the attack "one of the most deadly massacres ever seen" and asked for M&Ms.
A flight of wild ducks divebombed Iraq, bringing Saddam Hussein out of hiding and Iraqi planes to take to the air. "We haven't had fresh duck in years!" shouted one pilot as he gunned down duck after duck. His plane was shot down shortly thereafter by 5 year old Tommy Nickerson and his mighty slingshot, visiting the pastoral Iraqi countryside for his school report.
A new report from the Journal of American Hairdressers confirmed that gentlemen prefer blondes but reported that redheads have more fun. Brunettes promptly picketed the JAH national headquarters in Butte Montana.
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But first: Chocolate. Is it truly the ultimate party theme? An in-depth report..
US President George W Bush called the UN "irrelevant", saying "They don't support regime change when its needed." In an unrelated story a petition to recall George W Bush as US President and install Martin Sheen as a suitable replacement was shredded by the US Justice Department, includin g all 3,274,430 signatures already collected.
The New York Yankees lost their chance to go to the World Championship this year. The noise level from New York City to Boston was approximately 70 decibels. Massachusetts resident Arnold Schwartzenegger hooted, "Yankees Suck!"
Israeli soldiers fired their new candy guns at terrorist gunmen in the Gaza Strip and pelted their targets with 45 jujubees per second, minorly bruising one gunman's trigger finger. Palestinians called the attack "one of the most deadly massacres ever seen" and asked for M&Ms.
A flight of wild ducks divebombed Iraq, bringing Saddam Hussein out of hiding and Iraqi planes to take to the air. "We haven't had fresh duck in years!" shouted one pilot as he gunned down duck after duck. His plane was shot down shortly thereafter by 5 year old Tommy Nickerson and his mighty slingshot, visiting the pastoral Iraqi countryside for his school report.
A new report from the Journal of American Hairdressers confirmed that gentlemen prefer blondes but reported that redheads have more fun. Brunettes promptly picketed the JAH national headquarters in Butte Montana.
.
.
But first: Chocolate. Is it truly the ultimate party theme? An in-depth report..
